Nerd Alert! June 10, 2008
A conversation my brother and I had while watching The Pagemaster on a Friday night:
Him: Why do libraries always have lions out front?
Me: Maybe because they’re actually lion-braries.
Him: Or because they have cat-egories!
[Pause]
Him: Because they use the Dewey deci-bird system!
Me: That one sucked.
Him: Yeah.
[Pause]
Me: There’s no paw-city of knowledge!
Him: Nice.
Him: Oh! Because they have tails!
Me: How was that not the first thing we thought of?
Can’t Leave It Alone June 8, 2008
In retrospect, it occurs to me that my last entry might show up on a Google search for words such as “nude,” “panties,” “Anna Kournikova,” or “damp,” attracting all sorts of perverts and reprobates. I suppose this is the chance one takes when one is an attention whore, though.
…Aw, man, I probably just did it again.
Domo Arigato, Mr. Spamboto June 7, 2008
I haven’t been here in a while, so I logged in intending to write something strong yet poignant, as I often imagine myself doing at 2:00 in the morning. The little dashboard updater thing told me I had 11 queued spam comments, though, so I went there first and, boy howdy, am I glad I did.
I should maybe go back a little and say that I have a great fondness for spam. I’m really not bothered by finding it breeding in my inbox (ya just read everything you want to read and then mark everything to be deleted all at once; not so taxing on one’s sanity, but anyway), and one of my favorite sites (Pajiba) is frequently attacked by what the commenters called spambots because of the ‘bots ability to slyly tailor their posts to the article while still telling us about how we can meet rich guys looking for love (and Asian brides who know how to keep shtum). There’s something of a cult of spambot arising over there, with prophecies to be fulfilled in a Terminator-style holocaust. Sooner, rather than later, if we’re at all accurate.
Anyway. I checked out what the little spammers had sent this way and I was rather delighted. There’s sometimes a bizarre cleverness to the messages; it can read like found poetry, albeit on the so-weird-it’s-great end of the spectrum. A lot of it is about credit scores or sex. I often associate the two myself; just another reason to love it. So here’s what I was gifted (rearranging mine):
It felt sleeveless
to relubricate
my toungues intently to her boxes
and know her
socially
freakier
elegantly against my manhood,
which ached as if
it would surreptitiously
stop.
End of invader 1)haved myyyyyyyy
and I could woo
my anna kournikova
nude videos
closing undies
again.
I was the intense to jubilant
my boredom and gesetzt
my campfire
in hers, she was the sarcastic
to damp my hips.
Erotic, yes? Excuse me while I check my credit rating…
Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others March 3, 2008
No one ever feels sorry for fat girls. Not in the sense of “oh, she’s fat, it must be terrible to be so fat and worthless; I bet she has no self-esteem, either.” There are plenty of people who feel bad in that way. I was thinking more along the lines of book covers, the kind where you can tell just by looking at it that something awful and traumatic is going to happen to the heroine, an adolescent mired in a confusing time, on the cusp of being a woman but with childhood still calling her name, or some such nonsense. Best conjectures include an alcoholic/drug-dependent parent, some neighbor boy sharing the first stirrings of puppy love, and whatever skeevy joe ends up raping our fair protagonist. Sometimes judging a book by its cover can save you precious time and energy that could be put into being disgusted by something else. The book jackets always have girls on them, but not usually a full-length shot, maybe just a turned head and limb or two jutting out of the bottom right corner. The photos are artistically blurred; catching the girl in motion, growing into an adult right before our eyes? There’s some sort of juxtaposition between where she was and where she will be; smeary lipstick and a babydoll dress, high heels at the end of legs splayed on a hopscotch court. But all these girls are skinny, and not just skinny in the way girls are before everything they eat suddenly starts to stick, but skinny in a way where you know they’ll grow an ass and boobs without their thighs widening or their stomach softening. None of these book-cover girls are fat unless being fat is a central theme to the book, the same way a character is never gay or black or a part of some minority demographic niche without it being her defining characteristic. If you’re fat, that must be your Problem, the one that wrenches your gut in the middle of the night. In a litany of things that could go wrong in your life, your weight will always be included. You can be beaten and abandoned and raped just like the skinny girls, but it only pushes “fat” to the bottom of the list of things that are wrong with you. No one ever feels sorry for fat girls unless they can use it to make the fat girl feel even worse.
Winter Break December 14, 2007
I am so excited to go home for winter break after this semester, just as a most of us are. I will be returning to my job at a local gym, working in the nursery, taking care of children anywhere from the ages of 3 months to 12 years old. I love these kids so much and I cant wait to see them all so much. Everytime I go back they have all grown up so much, sometimes I don’t even recognize them at first glance. There are some of the sweetest kids that I have ever met. They notice everything I do and love to comment about it. It is hilarious. I especially picked this job because of my major. Any extra time I have will kids is great. It nice to see how they interact with each other at all different ages. I can’t wait to go back!
Alpha Epsilon Phi
Alpha Epsilon Phi is the soroity that I joined in the Spring of 2007. It was one of the best choices I have ever made. I have made tons of friends that I am so close to. The 15 other girls I pledged with are some of the best friends I have ever had, and I know they will be my friends after I graduate. I know many people hate sororities and stereotype people who join one, but they will never know until they actually are involved with one. I never knew how much community service a sorority does, especially AEPhi. The past years we have won best service from our National. Even though ever sorority is different, my experience has been amazing so far. I can’t wait for the years to come in my college career, spent with my best friends.
cursive handwriting
We discussed this topic in Professor Tweedie’s class and I really enjoyed it.
There is no doubt that the use of cursive handwriting has decreased tremendously. New technology has come in place of handwriting as a whole. Computers have replaced documents that would have been written and can now be typed. A word document can be written much faster than any handwritten document could be. Letter writing has turned into e-mailing, encyclopedias are now websites, and journals are now blogs. In the classroom situation, new technology could be taught now. Instead of teaching cursive writing, this time could be spent in the computer lab learning typing skills for young students. Technology is progressing so fast these days and young students are our future and they should be learning what they future will be. As a future educator, I am sure that students would be just excited to work on computers as they would to learn cursive. And since cursive is hardly seen anymore, typing should be the focus after learning how to print, instead of just learning another way to handwrite.
In class speakers
So as everyone knows, the other day in class we had the three speakers discussing the possibilities of a future in writing. Since I am not just a writing arts major, (I’m elementary ed., writing arts) it didn’t pertain to me, but it was still just as interesting. I almost feel bad for students in high school that come to college wanting to major in just creative writing, thinking that they will write one book and be well off. Like all the speakers said, creative writing isn’t a career path. You have to have another goal, such as teaching writing at a college level, or working for a magazine. This way, you can work on your novels or other writings on the side, and you will still be successful. I am glad that I chose writing arts as my coordinate major with elementary education because it is definitely the best one for education. Writing is one of the most important things to learn about, no matter what age you are.
Blogs, etc.
So I was talking to my mom, who is a first grade teacher, and this semester she had a student teacher. She was telling me that on the evalutation form for her student teacher it had a catagory of: Inappropriate blogs, internet findings, etc. And the reason she even told me is because I have been talking about blogs so much!..And she wanted to make sure I had nothing on my facebook profile that I could get in trouble for. I really thought it was amazing how popular Facebook, MySpace, and blogs have gotten that it would even be on a form for student teachers. I did know that when you are looking for a job a future employee may look at your facebook account, and could even determine if you get a job from it. I think that is a little extreme, but then again if you don’t want to get in trouble, don’t have an account at all.
Three Non Blondes and One Blonde 